18-year-old Toddler

Dear Diary,

So I turned 18. And had an amazingly successful party. 17 people came. I didn’t even know I had that many friends. Seriously, it was quite a phenomenon. When I started planning, they all appeared out of the woodwork, like “Oh of course I have to invite Megan!” So that was very heartwarming 🙂 

Unfortunately, one does not become an adult over night. I realize this every day. I really am still a child. I try my hardest to be tough and strong and adult. But all the time, when I get stressed at work, more often when I get yelled at by my managers/coworkers, I just break down. And today, when I was crying in the break room like a toddler, trying to stop sobbing, making that pathetic “whooip whooip” sound that happens when you breathe in really fast, I realized how much of a baby I really am. 

Luckily that’s not actually a bad thing. As I drove home, I listened to the song “10,000 reasons” and cried a whole lot more. And I just had this revelation on how I just need to let go more. Not to get so stressed and harried. And just to do as much as I can with what I’m given. When i try to do too much at once, thats when I break down. If I just relax and do things one step at a time, I can get much more done in a much more efficient manner. 

And I don’t have to apply this just to the service industry. I need to put more faith in God to get things done the right way, instead of putting so much pressure on myself to do everything. 

Here’s a nice list of bible verses about stress. I have so many stressful things in my life, and I know you do to, whoever is reading this. The funny thing is, all the things I stress about, work, tests, college, my parents’ divorce, my mom’s boyfriend, my dad’s potential girlfriend that I know nothing about because he doesn’t talk to us, my dad’s knee surgery, money for San Francisco, money for Europe, money for everything…. I really have no control over any of those things. I can prepare myself as much as possible, study hard, work hard, jump through all the paperwork hoops, but in the end, the outcomes of everything cannot be controlled by one person. We need to stress less and trust more in God.

My hope for anyone who reads this, is to try to take 5 minutes of silence and just think. Maybe pray, maybe just enjoy the silence and breathe. But it’s amazing what just 5 minutes of calm can do for the rest of your day…

Much Love,

Lorelei

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